“Let me show you my PowerPoint.” This is pretty much every boner we got throughout middle school and most of high school. The Attention-Seeker. This boner pops up when we’re in a public place, or worse, doing a presentation at work. We’re forced to either wait things out or lose 20 minutes of sleep negotiating with it.Ĩ. The Night Boner. This boner shows up right when we want to go to sleep and makes it tough to fall asleep on anything other than on our back. This is our penis being a bro(ner) and doing exactly what it’s supposed to do exactly when it’s supposed to do it.ħ. This is the pre-sex boner that shows up right when we need it most. The Classic Boner. You can’t beat a classic (well, I guess in this case you can).
It’s just our penis being a free spirit.Ħ. 4, we know in our heart that boner is there for no reason and usually can go away with a little bit of focus. The Inappropriately Timed Boner. This boner pops up at a time that just makes us feel dirty and we really have no idea why its there, like when our dad is saying grace at Thanksgiving dinner.
The “I Don’t Know How I Should Feel” Boner. We’re watching something on TV, like reruns of The Nanny, when suddenly a boner shows up out of nowhere and forces us to come to terms with the fact that we’re sexually attracted to Fran Drescher’s weird accent for some reason.ĥ. It’s just there and gone like an apparition.Ĥ. There’s nothing happening around you to set it off, there’s no one to see it. The Ghost Boner. This one comes along and leaves like the wind. This boner is the Egg McMuffin of morning sex: The two go well together.ģ. This greets you in the morning with a stiff hello, like a butler that can only pee and ejaculate. The Pee Boner. This is a fake-out boner that really just happens when you really, really, really have to pee, and goes away right after, like stepping on a garden hose.Ģ. (Shut up, we just read it for the articles) has some thoughts on the types of erections guys have.
Our friend Frank Cosmo, from Cosmopolitan magazine. The real issues are, do you have a healthy cock and erections? Erectile dysfunction is a real and growing problem, which we well address in another Piece in the General Health section, but if you are able to obtain an erection, trust us, it looks normal. Normal is a relative term and should be avoided. Outside of some type of true deformity, accident or even complication after circumcision, most guys erect cocks look normal.
The time it takes for a male to obtain a full erection and to “deflate,” either after ejaculation or not, depends on the guy, his rate of arousal, the size and girth of his dick. These may turn into full hard-ons or deflate with time or after the removal of the original stimuli. This occurs when a guy is slightly aroused but not totally stimulated.
So-called “semi-erections” are also common. These erections have, in some men, been reported to be “stronger and harder” than those due to sexual arousal. Morning hard-ons are sometimes called “piss hard-ons” as they are more associated with a need to urinate than sexual arousal. These erections will vary in strength and length of stiffness. Some males report differences in the type of erections they have during the day and night, as well as their physical and emotional responses to them. Until then, most males will have between 4-8 erections while sleeping. Some hard-ons will take the form of “morning wood” and nighttime erections, until a natural decrease around the age of 40, when they might lessen or even stop completely depending on testosterone levels. On average, males will begin obtaining steady erections after the onset of puberty, which usually happens somewhere between the ages of 10-14. But first, we need to discuss the basics of anatomy as well as how and why your member gets stiff. There will be numerous other times, and mentioned in other Pieces, where we’ll discuss medical issues such as erectile dysfunction and even what happens when you have damaged your cock while erect. In this Piece, we’re going to give you the basics about hard-ons. Children and infants are known to get erections, as are unborn babies. These spontaneous erections may be embarrassing if in public but they’re a very natural part of the male experience. This process usually occurs during some sort of sexual arousal, physical contact, or sexualized thoughts, but most males experience random and uncontrolled full or partial erections without stimuli during the day. Osiris, the Egyptian god, flaunted his virility in the Underworld as King, declaring in The Book of the Dead: “ I am Osiris, stiff of penis, I am mightier than the Lord Terror I copulate and have power over myriads”.Īn erection is when blood enters and fills the spongy tissue of the shaft, until the penis rises and stiffens into hardness.